Through the Lens of a Dad

Have ever you stopped and looked at your life and wondered, what happened to me? This morning when I took off my shirt to shower I was frightened by the bald, pregnant, Filipino woman staring back at me. It truly was frightening to see myself (in profile) with a gut the size of Texas. While showering I began thinking about what my life looked like 5 years ago. Back then, my belly looked more Connecticut – noticeable but not offensively large, as are the citizens of Connecticut (I would have compared my stomach to Rhode Island but that’s the smallest state in the U.S. and that’s just not true of my belly). Five years ago I was more diligent about going to the gym with my gym “buddy” (his name coincidentally was Jim – KIDDING!). Back then I cared a little more about how my body looked than I do today.

But all of my lament regarding my gird also got me thinking about my life, about ministry and about the things I cared about when I was living in Seattle. It spurred me into action about writing some things down about my life and what about it has changed, other than the obvious. What has changed in my life? What things about ministry, about the church and about God has changed for me? What things should I filter out? What are valid changes? What are changes that just don’t really matter in the long run?

What about you? What has changed in your life? Where were you and what was heaviest on your mind 5 years ago?

Thanks for reading.

Joe

This is the last day of my coffee-free living. I am both excited and curious to see how much longer I can hold out without coffee. I have a research paper to write and I am feeling so good without coffee write now that I wonder how my paper-writing will be affected with caffeine. Just wondering.

Thanks for reading.
Joe

Hello. Thanks for following with me on my coffee-free journey. What a journey it’s been? Half-way done with this coffee fast and in all honesty, I feel great. I actually do feel healthier and more alert. I also get more sleep at night. This really stinks because I love coffee but I am seeing how negatively it affects me. Well, I did get tempted this morning when I went to two coffee shops for meetings. I saw on old guy with a freshly brewed cup of coffee, steam rising from the cup, black and rich… umm… But, I resisted and I am now drinking some hot tea.

Life is busy right now because of school. I have to finish up a final and a research paper in the next 3 weeks. My life will revolve around the books below plus some other ones that have not come in yet. That means, I will be in a self-imposed exile of some sort. And without coffee, I fear how my studying and paper-writing will be – pray for me.

On a completely different note, check out the video I pasted below. It just made me laugh and worry all at the same time. I don’t know when this was but, wow! I pray for America and our youth. hahaha…

Okay, thanks for reading.

Joe

I skipped a bunch of days because I got really busy with… everything. However, what I didn’t skip was my coffee-free living. I have really mixed feelings about my 30 Days Without Coffee. I started to think why I was doing all of this for in the first place. I’m not out to prove that coffee is bad, or this is not some religious fast to show that God is more important in my life than anything. I just want to see how my body will react to not having coffee. I need sleep. I need rest, yet my body does not tell me it’s time to sleep. I get up unusually early in the morning and naturally, by 3pm, I am experiencing life in slow motion because I just want to sleep. So while I’m not out to prove anything, by virtue of living without something I’m used to, I am proving something. But, I will continue because my body is liking sleep.

Well, over the weekend I did get to sleep. Well, Saturday at least. I woke up at 7:30am. It’s been a while since I’ve done that and it felt goooood. Over the weekend I started realizing that at a certain point at night I feel my body pull towards the bed and my pillows. My body actually wants to sleep at the appropriate part of the day. When I get up in the morning, I don’t spring out of bed. It actually takes time for me to get out of bed. I’m not “jumpy” when I wake up.

It’s almost 1am and I am very tired. I had to stay up and finish a reading assignment for seminary. So now, I’m going to bed.

Thanks for reading.

Joe

I went through the day, again, without any fatigue or sluggishness. I read over 80 pages and I didn’t feel sleepy or tired at all. Maybe the material was stimulating after all. I am starting to think that the caffeine from my coffee drinking really affected my sleep. I used to have 3-4 cups of a day.

Anyway, it’s after midnight now and I am tired. I’m falling asleep just trying to write this blog.

Thanks for reading.

joe

This is what I had this afternoon – African herbal tea from Starbucks. Total number of herbal teas today – 3. I’m learning that the taste of coffee, first of all, is what I crave. But secondly, I am also drawn to coffee because I crave something hot to drink after a meal or very early in the morning. Tonight, before I went back to church for a meeting, my wife made a delicious dinner. My initial instinct was to chase down the meal with a hot cup of coffee and drink it on the way to the meeting. I caught myself wanting the cup but I stopped myself.

How am I feeling? I feel pretty good actually. Much better than the day before. The 2-3pm sluggish hour was not existent today. I was able to get my work done without feeling tired or sleepy. The real test is tomorrow when I have to read over 100 pages for seminary. Will I get sleepy and tired? Will I blame my sleepiness on coffee or the material I’m reading? Hmm… I guess we’ll just have to find out.

Thanks for reading.

Joe

Today was a good day, though I was craving coffee like crazy. It was good because all throughout the day I had a lot of energy. In between the 2-3pm hours is when I feel the most sluggish and tired. But today I was filled with energy. I still don’t know how that’s related to coffee or not but I felt great.

Also, I wrote this earlier, but my “snacking” is terrible. I snack almost at every hour of the day. Drinking coffee stimulates it and encourages it. Doesn’t coffee taste much better with a pastry or a cookie or a donut… or two… or three…? So, today, I found myself snacking less because I was very conscious of it.

But to be absolutely truthful – I’m having a hard time not having coffee. Is this is a scary thing? I think about drinking coffee a lot.

Oh, well, I’m getting sleepy and tired and I should get to bed soon.

Thanks for reading.

Joe

Technically, yesterday was Day 2, but I fell asleep way too early last night to write. I felt pretty good yesterday though I was craving coffee all day. I did feel like I had more energy throughout the day. The only “slow” part of the day came after I put Ayumi down for a nap. I felt so tired I had to take a short, 5-minute nap. But I wonder if that’s because we did a lot in the morning: did the laundry, changed the lightbulbs in the kitchen and outside, went to the hardware store, played in the playground for 45 minutes. Also, I think I ate 7 cookies and a bowl full of Doritos in 30 minutes after putting Ayumi down. That’s the thing about my coffee-drinking. A lot of times I like to have my coffee with something sweet – cookies, cake, a spoonful of sugar. I don’t think that’s helped with my weight gain and the atrocious state of my health. So I think yesterday, with the 7 cookies and bowl of chips, was a force of habit. I’m hoping that’s it. One other thing I noticed last night was that I felt even more sleepy than usual by about 11pm. I was out before midnight.

I wonder how today will go? I was up at 6:15am feeling a little tired and groggy.

Thanks for reading.

Joe

Why Am I Doing This?

I want to know the effects of coffee/caffeine on my body. I am not sure if 30 days is long enough but I’ll give it a go. I want to know if it helps me or if I feel better without coffee. I also want to know if it does affect my sleep at night.

The Rules

1. No coffees, lattes, frappuccinos, or any coffee-type drink (caffeinated or decaffeinated). Basically, everything on the Starbucks menu, except for the teas.
2. Teas are allowed but only the decaffeinated ones.

DAY 1

So, today kicked off my 30 Days of Coffee-Free living. It was difficult. Church without coffee just doesn’t seem like church. Also, I got headaches all throughout the day, until I took a 2-hour nap. Then I felt much better. It’s close to midnight now and I feel tired and sleepy. I definitely feel like I’m going through withdrawal.

How will tomorrow feel?

Thanks for reading.

Joe

I love coffee. I need to state that clearly and simply before I go on. When I have breakfast with my daughter, I have a cup of coffee. When I have lunch with my daughter, I have a cup of coffee. When I first sit down to work, I have a cup of coffee. I love everything about coffee. I love the way it smells, the way it looks, the way it looks back at me and says, “You need another sip of me. I am delicious.” But, lately, I haven’t been feeling well. I’ve noticed that I’ve been more tired in the afternoon, not sleeping well at night and very jumpy. All that on 3 cups of coffee a day. So, I’m toying around with the idea of not having coffee for a month to see how it makes me feel.

So, for the two of you who read my blog, what do you think? Should I take a break from coffee for a month? Let me know. I’m thinking of starting November 1.

Thanks for reading.

Joe